Feb. 3rd, 2003

Well I can't sleep so here I am. I can't wait until Noel has a computer in the hospital. I am basically keeping this journal on live journal for his benefit. He has been so open with me on what he's feeling, etc, so I will do the same. I guess I would be lying if I said I was feeling totally secure about him. I don't think I'll feel better until I've actually seen he's OK, actually hugged him and held his hand, but that's 11 days away and I really can't worry about him 24/7. It's just not feasible, so I have decided my best course of action is to keep busy. Now I have plenty of stuff to do, but getting motivated to actually do it, now that's another story completely. I have a psych exam Friday and an anthropology exam next Tuesday, or was that next Thursday? Does it really matter? OK, so in the long run it probably does but oh well, it's two AM and I have to get up at seven and I'm just not tired. Oh well, life goes on. Antibiotics for ear infection seem to be working, which is a definite plus. Nobody has commented on this journal but that's OK. I'm actually getting sleepy now. And I really need to start working on my writing. I have always wanted to be a writer but have only submitted one thing which although it didn't get rejected outright, I never got an acceptance letter either.
Well off to bed now...
I'm tired but so happy. Normally when I tell someone to call any time, any time of day or night, I never really expect them to do it. I always hope they won't worry about waking me up, or pissing me off, etc. But people usually do. Which pisses me off to no end. If I didn't want someone to wake me up at any time, if I really didn't love and care for them, then I wouldn't give them permission to ring me. I bring this up because Noel did use his 24/7 privilege and rang me late last night. And it was my pleasure to talk to him. It's what I do for people I love. I'm glad he trusted me enough to call me, and I hope I was able to help him a little bit. I also can't wait until he gets a computer, so he can write in live journal. I think it will be immensely helpful for him when he can write about what he is feeling. Well better run to class... ug!
Well I have decided it's about time I arm myself with tools. Tools for what you may ask? Well I'm glad you did. Tools to combat the depression and worry I'm feeling. I'm a natural worrier, and am sick of worrying so much, so here are the tools I have come up with so far...
* books. I have always loved to read and have a wealth of material so better get reading!
*music! I have calming music, rock music, etc.
* studying. OK so that's the most obvious one but also the hardest to get motivated for.
* friends. I have friends all over so better use them to my advantage.
* Noel. He's apart from the friends, he's my best friend.
Well physics, or more aptly named, 7 Ideas that shaped the Earth, was OK today. We had to do a lot of math but I had done it all before, so it was pretty easy. I asked the prof if I could take the exam early so I could visit Noel longer and he told me that I had to give him a copy of
A. my plane ticket
and
B. a written request.
According to prof, he can't decide when to give exams as they are set by the university... But doesn't he head the course? Anyway, that's easily done.
I was glad I understood the math. Unfortunately Maurine doesn't so I guess I'll be explaining it all to her. Ah well such as life, I guess.

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awallens

January 2012

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